I am sitting on our porch in Carmen's chair......remembering and pondering. I sit and recall our lives, our dreams and how he made me feel. I miss that sparkle in his eye, and the look that a husband reserves for his wife.......he always made both our anniversary and mother's day special. He said both those days were important because on both those days he got to remind me that HE was happy....happy that I said yes when he asked me to marry him and on mother's day.....that I gave him his beautiful children.
So as I celebrate our love and our anniversary.....I grieve.....the loss of my beloved and treasured Carmen.....my husband and the father of our dear sweet daughters, I grieve the loss of what was to be....the future together.
Allow me to take this moment to-Thank each of you. Carmen is always on my mind and so much more today as is expected. I am grateful for your kind and loving messages. I often think that I am doing so well.....and then blam......hits you like a ton of bricks and there is nothing that myself or those who love me can do to fix it- it is grief and the journey just needs to happen. So thank you for trying to make it better <3
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