In many different places I've heard that "Life is a journey"- well I've been thinking about that and want to share my thoughts.
My life has indeed been a journey- I started out in my parents home, much like a calm winding country road. There were twists & turns small pot holes but enjoyable. I then traveled a bigger & busier road that lead me to the top of the mountain- when I married Carmen. "My" journey became "Our" journey. We traveled many different roads together. Some were smooth & fast paced like a highway, some had some speed bumps that slowed us down and twice we were bossed to travel to the top of the mountain together as we welcomed our most precious gifts- our daughters- Gianna & Toni. After those two special trips- we traveled all over - there were more country roads filled with joy & happiness, there were highways that lead to the airport- yep you guessed it- where time just flew by. But all of them filled my heart with moments & memories that thankfully will last a lifetime. We continued on & faced some desert roads- where relationships dried up and our hearts were parched & thirsty and sadly that road lead us into the dark valley. Carmen lost his mother. We were navigating this new road called "Grief". It was a horrible road but we saw the sunshine returning. Some of the pot holes were repaired & the road was being repaved. I would say that we were happy- our travels were on track, we had things all mapped out. Then all of a sudden.....there was confusion- someone had screwed up- there was red lights, stop signs & a huge no outlet sign in "my" road. I looked around but Carmen was gone- no where to be found. Not only was he gone but he took the map !! Now what ?!? He knows I have no sense of direction, that I need him to take turns driving- I get tired when I have to drive for more than an hour or two. It was at this time that the divine dispatcher had to send out emergency personnel- family & friends". Who came to offer me assistance- everyone meant well & many of them helped out the best they could- but for some reason- they only had one tool each- no one had everything I needed or what I wanted, and no could find my map. I was lost & panicking until it was explained to me that my travel plans had been changed. Well this just ticked me off !!! I wanted to know why the heck I couldn't find Carmen, where was my map and for crying out loud why the heck do I need to take this detour !!
Yes....a detour...so you see right now I am traveling along a road called grief. It is a long winding, desolate road- filled with all types of hazards, dangerous cliffs & hairpin turns and frankly it is dark & dreary & it totally sucks !!! I know that eventually it will put me back on the well lit road called "life" again, I'm just not sure when. As I travel down this road I will look for those special stops where I can take a brief break- I hope to find them staffed by the people I call family & friends.
So now each new day has both the girls & I traveling and looking toward the horizon- where one day we will see the rainbow and the signs that will direct our journey back to where our hearts want to be...... until then my beloved.....you remain in my heart.
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