Rougher day than I thought. Last night the girls and I went thru Carmen's clothes. This was certainly amazing....the girls were thoughtful & as they saw shirts & ties- the memories they shared were totally mind blowing. I can't put into words how my heart felt seeing them fold the items and laugh and reflect on so many things. I thank the Lord that they have these memories & I pray that this thoughts and memories don't fade over time.
Some people are surprised that we've done this "already". But I'm not......the girls and I thought about what Carmen would have wanted....and we agreed that helping others is what he did & what he was about. He would certainly not want his clothes hanging around collecting dust and wasting away.
My dear man would always help others and the girls had said to me before "that they wanted Daddy's clothes to go somewhere that would help another Daddy to help his family by getting a good job, he would be able to get a good job because when the person doing the hiring would see the man in nice clothes and hire him & this would help the man's family."
So we took his things to Tabitha's. The girls asked Cindy why the store was named that? Her response was that there was a woman in the Bible that always made sure those in need had clothes. As we carried the bags, boxes and containers into the store I was so proud to see them gently place the items in a pile. They explained why they were there & how they hoped to help another daddy by this donation. Cindy thanked them for their generous donation and for taking the time to come all the way to personally do it. I took a few pictures for their scrapbook.
One day.....I wonder if they will look back at this and realize what a big step this was for them ?? I know they heard me say how proud I was of them- but once again they asked if I thought Daddy was proud of them? I told them......."Daddy was always proud of them.....but he is just beaming with pride & bragging to anyone close by that they are his daughters !!"
I also told them that as we continue on this journey he looks down at us with pride, joy and love !! He can see that we are living our lives as if he were right here with us- being the same caring, loving and brave girls !!
On the way home they told me that they are really feeling good about doing this & then asked what I thought ?? I was not totally forthcoming- I told them that I was happy that Daddy's clothes will help another father.... but what I did not share with them was the fact that my heart hurt to see the empty closet and drawers !! But I was not going to stand in their way of healing & I didn't want to make them feel bad for taking this big step.
As you think of us......continue to pray that we can continue to make Carmen proud by the way we live our lives !! Also pray that I have enough strength each day to meet the challenges that are to come !! Just like the girls.... I want to make my beloved man proud - so that one day when I see him again- he will hug me , hold me & smile !!!
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