8/21/11

Sat down to add to the ever growing "to do list" and realized {once again} that time is going by so quickly !! Where does it go & how do I get it back !!  We have a busy week ahead....and yet it is the last week before school starts !!  :(

I am so not ready for school to start. Neither are the girls !! But alas.....time goes on even if we don't want it to.

These past few weeks have seemed endless and yet have gone by so quickly. These days I'm not sure what I am feeling. I do know that I am doing my best & that when I am taking care of the girls I feel like I am doing something normal. So often I think of so many times, places & things that I either want Carmen with us or want to call him to tell him something.

Just this morning....I almost forgot my cell phone....I panicked and ran back to go get it "in case Carmen" needed to reach me. After I retrieved it....I stopped in my tracks as it dawned on me that I had the girls with me & that not only would Carmen not need to reach me but that no one would else would need to reach me on a Sunday morning.

The moment of pain struck and yet I got back out to the minivan, got in & headed out to church. I was supposed to have nursery duty today & I always look forward to the time with the babies. I get the babies up to a year old. Even when crying or fussy they are always a joy to take care of & today....I was cheated. Combined services so no one brought their babies that early. 

So afterwards we left to come home- the girls are still so tired that after we got home....Gianna crashed on the sofa & Toni zonked in the recliner snuggled up to me. As I sat there listening to them both breathe so softly all I could do was think about how much we are going to miss out on without Carmen & how much he will miss by not being here. I tried to browse around the channels & we used to like to watch Extreme makeover home edition....today's episode....the family was getting a new house.....reason being ??  Two tragedies.......weather & then their father & eldest boy drown together !!!  I quickly found some other channel to watch- but I am seriously considering not watching the news and lots of other channels !!

Well....once again...the girls and I will try to tackle some things off this list. Wish us well in getting it all done ! And getting ready for school.