Well.....today was harder than I thought. We brought Carmen home today. I knew it was going to be hard but I didn't fully understand that along with bringing him home it was going to be bringing more reality with it. The girls continue to handle all this differently and I struggle with how to best help each of them.
I've told many of you that what I need is to help them make their pain go away. For me...seeing our dear daughters struggle and seeing their pain makes my heart hurt all the more. How is it that people can't understand that when a mother sees her children in pain that it rips her heart out ?? I can't even begin to think about myself & how to make my pain better when my babies are hurting.
We met with two grief counselors today and I'm not sure how I feel about the time spent with them. But then again I don't know how I feel about anything. We have a busy week with Gi's surgery & appts and then there is only two weeks left of summer before school starts. So one thing I do know is that is annoying. I feel cheated on so many other aspects of life right now & now I feel that summer is gone too quickly. Even the girls have said that they've not even been to the shore yet this summer.
Just a side note......I know that some of you may be following in the shadows......and I don't mind.....but if at anytime you want to make comments on what I am writing.....it is ok- I don't mind. If what you are saying is from your heart then I will at least read what you say.
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