Well we survived the night. Early in the storm the basement took on water. It was literally pouring in !! We were down the basement because of the tornado warning & here it came. Immediately I jump into triage mode- get this under control so that the girls & my parents don't have to spend the night down here wet. After getting it under control with the shop vac & my dad sweeping water towards the drain- I put on Carmen's rain gear & went outside to use the bags of garden dirt to "sandbag" the one basement window that was taking on water.
All I can say is my beloved was still here with me....sending me his thoughts (instructions). I have all kinds of things ready so that when the power goes out...I was going to be ready. BUT......I did have a moment when everyone was sleeping & I was sitting at the computer that all I could think of was......I really miss Carmen & I want him here !!!!!! I want his reassurance that he's on top of it all & I could just take a breath & rest easy- he's got it under control !!
Thankfully two people {they know who they are} chatted with me via messages & then they said the heck with typing & called !! They gave me their love, reassurance, reminders and even complaints & told me it was ok to lean on them- that they are here for us. That was all I needed for the moment & got my resolve back.
I did go finally try to lay down for a bit......and that was so hard- but I said "ok Lord.....you took my Carmen- so it's up to you to keep our girls & me safe- he's not here to give me what I need with all this mess- so protect us from harm & if possible all our stuff.....yes our stuff....right now....it's important to us too."
I'm used to going on no sleep.....so this wasn't any different...but I really would like a night when I'm able to just rest & not worry or think about anything.
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